JayWalk's Quickie Guide To EPL 2008/2009

Arsenal - This season's squad looks rather depleted with the departure of several key players. Only significant signing is Samir Nasir (I keep mixing him up with Nasri Nasir!) which hasn't been really tested in the English game. I worry about Adebayor as I think his heart is no longer with the Gunners.

Predict: 4th Placing this season perhaps.


Aston Villa - Martin O'Neil has done very well with this team of limited resources and finished a very credible sixth position last year. All eyes will be on Sidwell and Barry but it will be an either-or situation. Sidwell will be the one to take charge of midfield only if Barry's move to Liverpool is successful. However, it looks like the deal is going to tank since both side can't come to an agreement on terms.

Predict: Definite contender for the UEFA Cup spot.


Blackburn Rovers - Mark Hughes has gone to Manchester City with another ManUtd old boy Paul Ince coming in to take over the gaffer's seat. Problem is that Ince has never managed a club in the top flight and I wonder if he has what it takes to perform well enough to have something to show for? Like Keane, Ince is also very tough on discipline but as we have all witnessed, all labour and no skill may get you results in the lower divisions but when it comes to the big league, it may only get you as far as off the relegation zone by the skin of the teeth.

Predict: Without Sparky, mid-table at best.


Bolton Wanderers - Escaped relegation but after the sale of Nicolas Anelka, they looked destined for the another brutal fight to the finish. Probably be able to survive again for the gutsy team but how long more can they hold this up?

Predict: Bottom six finish.


Chelsea - Runners-up last season with a spectacular collapse on the very last match day. Had it been Mourihno, they probably would have won the title from ManUtd. Too bad, Avram ain't the special one which explains his short tenure as manager. Scolari comes with an impressive resumé but he has no experience in the EPL. Would he be able to pick up the slack left behind by Mourihno? That we will have to see as the new season unfolds.

Predict: A definite shoo-in for the runner-up spot and a high chance to wrestle the title away from ManUtd.


Everton - Moyes performance at Goodison Park is nothing short of spectacular given the resources that he has to work with and is aptly rewarded with a place in the UEFA Cup competition. Problem is that would the extra fixtures undermine their performance in the domestic league? We all know that in order to survive both EPL and Europe, you need a good squad depth. Unfortunately, there hasn't been any significant signings during the summer to beef up the squad, which probably would turn around and bite them in the ass.

Predict: Top half finish with a good chance to win another season in the UEFA Cup.


Fulham - Another relegation struggler and with Fayed's interest in football fast waning. This may be the season for them to go down. Then again, they have the services of Andy Johnson this season to provide the goals. Johnson was superb when he was with Everton but the fact that Moyes had let go of his best striker then, may hint that the striker has past his prime?

Predict: Relegation candidate and a bottom six finish at best.


Hull City - This is their maiden season in the EPL and prime target for the drop. Although many newly promoted clubs managed to survive the first season as a result of their opponents' inexperience playing against them, I doubt if they could do another Ipswich.

Predict: Definite candidate for the drop and a cellar finish is not surprising.


Liverpool - We used to speak of the Top 4 where the Reds were often at the risk of being replaced as one of the members of this elite group. With the EPL getting a little bit more predictable at the top, the EPL is more or less all about the Top 2 hereon. Perhaps the next exciting thing is the watch the Next 4 battle out for the 2 CLQ spots and the losers taking the consolatory UEFA Cup place.

Predict: With Gerrard behind Torres and Keane up front, I think 3rd place finishing ahead of a weakened Arsenal is definitely in the cards.


Manchester City - A poisoned chalice handed to Mark Hughes who earlier signed on with great aspirations only to have Thaksin chipping away at the foundation. With Thaksin's funds freezed and a risk of being booted out of the EPL, the ex-Thai PM will be the biggest unnecessary distraction that Sparky would gladly do without.

The behind-the-back sale of Corluka and Ireland certainly sours the relationship between Thaksin and the manager and I won't be surprised if Sparky walks out before the season is over.

Predict: If they can finish mid-table, it's considered good for them and expect a mass exodus of players in the coming summer.


Manchester United - The main reason why clubs find it so hard to defend their title is once they achieved it, the hunger is no longer there. The added fixtures of the Super Cup and the World Club's Cup will certainly stretch the squad to the brink of breaking and granted that there will be extra revenue generated from these matches, the price to pay is perhaps the detriment to their EPL and ECL games as a result of fatigue.

This should be Ronaldo's final season as half his heart is at Real Madrid already. Giggs and Ferdinand's tenures are nearing the end and be sure to see Fergie looking out for successors. Saha is definitely out the door to AS Roma and we are still unsure if Henry and/or Berbatov will don the Red Devil jersey prior to the 31 Aug 2008 transfer deadline.

Predict: Like Chelsea, a Top 2 finish but I have a gut feeling that this will be Chelsea's season.


Middlebrough - I have never like them cause they bore the life out of me watching them play. However, one thing that has caught my attention is the progress that Gareth Southgate has made since he took over from McLaren. Despite the modest, mid-table finish last season, Southgate has come a long way from a wet-behind-the-ears young manager to one that is oozing of great potential.

However, it's a chicken-and-egg thing with boring players resulting in boring club, and boring club attracting boring players. Southgate has to break that vicious cycle if he wishes to achieve something beyond mediocre for the club.

Predict: Mid-table finish with the likelihood of being in the top half.


Newcastle United - With big clubs, come big expectations and Newcastle is by far the most underrated team last season. Gone are the glory days of Peacock, Asprilla, Ginola and Shearer. Newcastle has since sunk to the cesspool of mediocrity. Owen was out of most of last season and somehow, everybody pointed to his absence as the sole reason for their dismal performance. That to me is a load of crap and I am glad to see Keegan coming in and taking charge, with Shearer refusing to step up to the plate.

Friggin' cowardly ingrate.

Predict: Mid-table finish and absolutely no shot at the UEFA Cup place.


Portsmouth - The Pompeys are the more environmental friendly club in the EPL cause Redknapp really know how to recycle old stuff and making them useful again. David James, Sol Campbell and Kanu. Need I say more?

Hopefully, Defoe and Crouch would be able to benefit from Redknapp's magic and bounce back after being discarded by their previous masters.

Predict: No question about a top half finish and a definite contender for the UEFA Cup spot.


Stoke City - The Potters simply do not belong in the top flight.

Predict: Down to back where they belong at the end of the season.



Sunderland - Keane's last gasp effort towards the end of last season got them to 15th position in the EPL. Not a bad effort for Keane's debut in the top flight.

There is no way, Sunderland will be relegated this season, but only because the bottom three places have already more or less been filled up. Still, Keane, being a man of great pride will make sure that the Black Cats do not remain in the top flight via grovelling. Hence the signings of Malbranque, Chimbona and Diouf to boost the fire power.

Granted these are second-hand players, I am sure Keane would be able to whip them up into formidable weapons for at least a couple more seasons.

Predict: Still bottom-half with a possibility of mid-table success.


Tottenham Hotspur - Dud of last season where there were so much excitement pre-season that there were even talks of them replacing Liverpool as the Top 4. However, all that came tumbling with the surprise departure of Martin Jol. Next thing you know it, they finished 11th. Top 4 my ass!

With Berbatov and Keane out the door, Ramos is going to have a headache trying to figure out where to get the goals. The two strikers chalked up about 60 goals for Spurs last season. Where is Ramos going to get the next 60 goals from?

Predict: Mid-table finish and top half if Ramos have a solution for their attacking department. Otherwise, we are looking at a defensive playing team all season. No UEFA Cup spot for them.


West Bromwich Albion - My wager for the team with the least goals scored this season and definitely a place in the Championship League next season. They used to have Kevin Philips but now that he is gone, WBA is like another Spurs except that the Lily Whites is akin to an Armoured Personnel Carrier i.e. strong resistance but no guns, the Baggies is your Datsun 100A. No resistance and sadly, no guns.

Predict: Bye bye Baggies!


West Ham United - The only person keeping them afloat in the Premier League is Curbishley. Although they finished 10th last season, I see that as a fluke and unlikely to be repeated again.

Predict: Bottom half finish and flirting with relegation.


Wigan Athletic - Unlike Liverpool, Chelsea and ManCity, this is a club where the owners don't interfere with the manager and allowing the latter to do his job in peace.

Predict: Steve Bruce's boys finished 14th last season and is likely to stay around there this season as well and like Sunderland, only because the bottom have already been filled up.